As Salam Alaykum!

I'll tell you what. I am EXHAUSTED from, what?, now like 3 weeks of SCIF debriefings out here in D.C.

You think when you start a UFO cult in these modern times that people will naturally fear and respect you from a distance and have no interest in whatever strange practices you and your small cabal of degenerate organ grinders get into during wee dark hours of the night with your barbaric incantations and flowery appellations to eldritch creatures. But, PRAISE BOB(TM), that is just not the case apparently. I mean, once you bring beer into this equation of UFO cults, all decorum and decency gets thrown out the window like Frank Olson on a bad day.

And, who knew that Kirkpatrick creep was such a LUSH? I swear to ORTHON that if this freaking guy comes banging on my suite door one more time at 2 am with his "C'mon bro! C'mon!"s trying to get me to do yet another god-damned gravity bong in the Watergate Hotel pool after hours I'm writing a letter to Congress and making straight and sure that I'm once and for good removed from this list of "Cooperative Civilians". These bozos can piece together this inter-dimensional 5D chess game on their own. I'm OUT!

I mean, talk about late to the party. Congress ignores this problem for decades - I mean decades now, people - and, as soon as Gaetz goes on another one of his 3-day benders in Tallahassee and ends up seeing one of these ships for reals up in these tawdry skies, all of the sudden it's my problem?

SCIF my left foot, man. I'm so over this thing. You want answers, you ask these things yourself.

From now on, if somebody asks me if IBW is "really an UFO love cult", well, I'm just gonna lie and send them down the street to Jerry at Une Anne. Them's the real freaks! I mean, have you ever asked Jerry Nelson about his time at Giant Rock with Van Tassel back in the 70's? Probably not. And you should. Are you listening to me? You should.

I'm sorry. I know I'm over reacting a bit. But you spend 9 hours a day for several weeks in some high-security bunker with these aspirational dorks from Congress getting asked the same wrong questions over and over, time and time again, and you see how cool you are about the whole thing. I'll tell you now: you won't be cool.

But, I'm distracted. I'm supposed to be telling you that we've got HAPPY LOBSTER FOOD TRUCK at the shop tonight. Come get some lobster rolls and drink some beer while you do it. God knows we could use the revenue as the federal government doesn't foot the bill for the hotel rooms when they subpoena for some low-rent Congressional sub-committee hearings.

Happy Lobster gets rolling right around opening time tonight. That be 5pm by earth watch standard.

I'll be back in Chicago just in time to host THE BEATLES themed Team Trivia on Sunday afternoon at 3pm. You can have up to 6 on your team.

I've been putting together the questions in my downtime while out here in D.C. It's been my one reprieve from these pencil necks. I've put a lot of love into the whole endeavor. So, if you're a Beatles fan, you'd be real remiss to not come out for this wonderful little event. Come on now Beatles nerds, let's all get together in the same place and celebrate the greatest pop rock n' roll band of all time on any planet.

Here's a photo of the prizes:

Remember, almost every Thursday is PINT NIGHT at our little UFO Love Cult Lodge, IBW Lodge #1. We're ripping through these JUNIOR ASTRONAUT JUICE glasses as of late. I'm guessing we'll have these for probably one or two more of these and then we'll move onto a different glass.

It's $12 and you get the glass full of Junior Astro Juice. Why don't you have a whole set of these yet?

Ok, beer.

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap