Have you ever imagined what it must be like to be Jell-O? To be full of all these brilliant bright flavors and colors while being in some kind of permanent suspension half way between water and a seemingly solid bit of matter?

Have you ever considered what it must be like to be made to melt in someones mouth and then be swished around like a quickly disintegrating oyster of sugar-filled mouth wash all about the dental adventures of some randoms face hole?

Have you ever feared being forced, simply as a result of your own congenial passivity, into the shape of a bundt cake as your final move before being transformed by an ungrateful machine into half-cocked fuel for dimly considered ventures?

Thanks to my crummy guru, I spend a lot of time contemplating myself as Jell-O. But the jokes on her as I only think of myself as Jell-O in the PRE preparation stage where I can't be swished and I'm decidedly not wiggly, not gelatinous, but just a sweet tasting, lovely colored powder wrapped in wax paper origami and hugged in an adorably small box. In this way I AM ETERNAL.

Ok, I think my meds just kicked, so let's get going here!

WE HAVE A FUN-FILLED, JAM-PACKED, FULL OF SLACK WEEKEND FOR JUST ABOUT EVERY DERANGED TASTE IN THE SPECTRUM OF DERANGED TASTES. Here's a quick run down:

And then... on SATURDAY!

And then on SUNDAY:

If you want you can just sleep out back by the dumpsters so you don't even have to bother going home. Why waste the money on a Lyft home and then a Lyft back? Just bring your sleeping bag and curl up after each event in the cozy confines of our dumpster array. It'll be bliss or something something something, yada yada, blah blah blah. Woof.

AND PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND GOOD, REMEMBER: July's MURDER BINGO has us teaming up with our lovely friends from Bucket O Blood Books & Records for a phenomenal line up of all zombie flicks all month long. And, on July 17th, Adam Charles Hart will be in to guest host Murder Bingo and sign copies of his new book "Raising the Dead: The Work of George A. Romero".

We've got so much for the Jell-O in you and so much more. "IBW: We're here for you as long as you have cash."

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap