Zombie Tarot & Murder Bingo TONIGHT @ IBW Lodge #1!

Holy Moses, I've been obsessing over this Silver Jews song "Smith & Jones" for the past few days. It's one of those songs that you hear a million times but then on that one million and oneth (or is that onthe?) time you finally listen to it.

Give this Dylan-esque masterpiece from the late but never forgotten David Berman a deep listen. It’s like so much of his work: tonally simple and catchy as hell on the surface, but it gets increasingly steep, beautiful and haunting the more you circle in.

One thing I can't yet resolve about this melodic riddle is whether or not it's about the prison of personality. In the classic sci-fi TV show "Lost In Space" Dr. Jeremiah Smith was portrayed by the actor Henry Jones. And I'm certain, if you spoke to Henry Jones after his run as the diabolical and dented Dr. Smith, at some point your conversation would turn to him belly-aching about how he's going to be locked into that character for the rest of his career.

"Yeah, sure, it made my career," he'd say in that impish way only Henry Jones could summon. He'd probably take a long melodramatic pull on his cigarette at this point, staring off into that Space where he appears to still be Lost. "But the same thing that made my career ended it immediately as well."

I can't listen to this song without wondering what personalities that I've inhabited have kept me in a prison longer than my sentence demanded. Smith & Jones, forever. Indeed. Bon appetite.

But my exceptional taste in music is not why we're here. I'm here to tell you that TONIGHT at America's #1 hot spot for non-sequitur pickle ball we've got a lovely human being that calls herself Emerald Acorn doing walk-up ZOMBIE TAROT readings. Here's what she says about this new spread style:

"I will share with you that I am terrified of zombies! That slow pursuit of hungry, emotionless humans freaks me out. But we can learn and grow by dissecting our discomforts. The 5-card zombie spread asks the hard and poignant question:How you survive what you fear?"

For MURDER BINGO tonight we'll be showing the summer camp classic "The Burning"! Here's the synopsis:

At summer camp, some teenagers pull a prank on the camp's caretaker, Cropsy (Lou David). But the joke goes terribly wrong, and the teens leave Cropsy for dead after setting him on fire. But no one keeps Cropsy down. A few years later, the burned and disfigured caretaker returns to camp equipped with his trusty shears, ready to unleash his particular brand of vengeance on a whole new group of teens. The murderous Cropsy stalks the campers in the woods, one by one.

I mean, sure, it sounds a leeeetle bit like another film that dropped about a year previous, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence. But, honestly, I dig The Burning more than that other unmentioned movie. Plus, this one also features the special effects wizardry of Tom Savini who designed, deployed and, uh, executed that iconic scene with the hedge clippers and... oh, you'll just have to come see it.

MURDER BINGO starts at 9pm and is always strictly 21+

We packaged a fresh batch of Watermelon Gun yesterday. I love this beer and this batch is particularly splendid. We never use anything but hand-processed and fresh, real watermelons for Watermelon Gun. We do this, well, because real watermelon is just transcendental. There is no replacement for that cold, crunchy deliciousness of the watermelon rind in this world, so there is no way to achieve that other than putting real watermelon in the beer. This year's batch has a lovely balance of the fruit sweetness with the green cucumber yumminess of the rind as well. I hope you dig it. It's available at the Lodge in 4-packs and will go on draft this weekend. J is dropping these at accounts as I write this.

Oh, hey, all you Phishy people out there. We're streaming the tour again this Friday at 6:30p and then again on Sunday August 11th. On Sunday we'll start with Saturday night's show at 4pm and then do the Sunday night show live when it starts.

I might make some burgers or something on Sunday so come by early and let's make a day of it!

If you're one of those strange people that likes to wake up early on a Saturday so you can run and then drink beer, then we've got you this Saturday, August 10th. Come by the shop and run a 5k and receive a pint of IBW beer on the house and a chance to win some other raffle prizes. You can still sign up for this by following this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/5k-beer-run-x-illuminated-brew-works-2024-illinois-brewery-running-series-tickets-760660374657?aff=oddtdtcreator

And, of course, this Saturday night we've got another installment of WAX DISASTERS our no-genre, all vinyl dance party:

And, hey, if you're going to the Great Taste of the Midwest (which you 100% should be) then come by and say hi to J and Rick out there.

"IBW: We're here for you as long as you have cash."

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap

GRAND PRIZE NIGHT for MURDER BINGO w/ Bucket O Blood @ IBW Lodge #1 Today!

As you damn well know by now, July's MURDER BINGO has had us teaming up with our lovely friends from Bucket O Blood Books & Records for a phenomenal line up of all zombie flicks all month long. 

Tonight is the FINAL ROUND featuring Peter Jackson's DISGUSTING CLASSIC "DEAD ALIVE".

At the end of the movie tonight, whoever has the most Bingo's for July will win this INSANE bunch of prizes from the best damn bookstore in this timeline!
 

HOLY CRAP!!

You have to be present to win. And, why wouldn't you want to be present? "Dead Alive" is amazing, the crowd is always fun as hell, and WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE UNHOY MYSTIKAL HOT DOG MACHINE HERE TONIGHT. We'll even have vegan dogs for you SICK-O VEGANS (like me!).

ALSO: THIS SATURDAY!!

Did you know that IBW is the GREATEST OF ALL TIME? And that KING FELIX won for BEST MODERN HAZY against all the other Chicago breweries at the Chicago Beer Societies HAZY DAYS fest last weekend?

Of course you did!

"IBW: We're here for you as long as you have cash."

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap

Tons of Madness This Weekend @ IBW Lodge #1!

Have you ever imagined what it must be like to be Jell-O? To be full of all these brilliant bright flavors and colors while being in some kind of permanent suspension half way between water and a seemingly solid bit of matter?

Have you ever considered what it must be like to be made to melt in someones mouth and then be swished around like a quickly disintegrating oyster of sugar-filled mouth wash all about the dental adventures of some randoms face hole?

Have you ever feared being forced, simply as a result of your own congenial passivity, into the shape of a bundt cake as your final move before being transformed by an ungrateful machine into half-cocked fuel for dimly considered ventures?

Thanks to my crummy guru, I spend a lot of time contemplating myself as Jell-O. But the jokes on her as I only think of myself as Jell-O in the PRE preparation stage where I can't be swished and I'm decidedly not wiggly, not gelatinous, but just a sweet tasting, lovely colored powder wrapped in wax paper origami and hugged in an adorably small box. In this way I AM ETERNAL.

Ok, I think my meds just kicked, so let's get going here!

WE HAVE A FUN-FILLED, JAM-PACKED, FULL OF SLACK WEEKEND FOR JUST ABOUT EVERY DERANGED TASTE IN THE SPECTRUM OF DERANGED TASTES. Here's a quick run down:

And then... on SATURDAY!

And then on SUNDAY:

If you want you can just sleep out back by the dumpsters so you don't even have to bother going home. Why waste the money on a Lyft home and then a Lyft back? Just bring your sleeping bag and curl up after each event in the cozy confines of our dumpster array. It'll be bliss or something something something, yada yada, blah blah blah. Woof.

AND PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND GOOD, REMEMBER: July's MURDER BINGO has us teaming up with our lovely friends from Bucket O Blood Books & Records for a phenomenal line up of all zombie flicks all month long. And, on July 17th, Adam Charles Hart will be in to guest host Murder Bingo and sign copies of his new book "Raising the Dead: The Work of George A. Romero". 

We've got so much for the Jell-O in you and so much more. "IBW: We're here for you as long as you have cash."

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap

Mel Brooks Trivia, Sunday 6/30 @ IBW Lodge #1

Capt. Howdy, strangers!

I can't tell you how excited I am for tomorrow -  Sunday, June 30th -  and this month's installment of our THEMED TEAM TRIVIA at 3pm. 

Mike has cooked up a really good game for this one including clips from some of AMERICAN MASTER Mel Brooks' finest films. If you have a half a brain cell in your head then you love Mel Brooks. And, with a half a brain cell, you've just found yourself in the elite class of above average intelligence for this tawdry and hot world we live in.

So, come show off that brain cell of yours and have some fun while you do it. Win prizes including Mel Brooks autobiography, a great new full-color book on the making of "Young Frankenstein" with a forward by Judd Apatow. And, of course, some "Blazing Saddles" underwear from our friends over at Harebrained Designs. We start promptly at 3pm.

Tonight we've got DJ NOVEMBER spinning Punk & Metal vinyl all night starting at 9pm! Come get shwifty while you get baptized into the holy church of tinnitus!

For July's MURDER BINGO we're teaming up with our lovely friends from Bucket O Blood Books & Records for a phenomenal line up of all zombie flicks all month long. And, on July 17th, Adam Charles Hart will be in to guest host Murder Bingo and sign copies of his new book "Raising the Dead: The Work of George A. Romero". 

We're going to start the month off right with one of the greatest films ever made, "Return of the Living Dead"! And to sweeten the deal even more, the Bucket O Blood folks are going to bring their mystical hot dog machine with them!

What else do you need to help start off a 4 day bender of Freedom and Liberty then "Hotdog" and "Return of the Living Dead"? 

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap

Great and FREE Live Music @ IBW Lodge #1

Good day, Savages.

For some god-forsaken reason I've had this terrible song jackhammering in my head recently and I can't make it stop: "I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! I WANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEEEEE!"

The truth is, though, I don't want to know. I already know what Love is: Love is the Law.

But, you know, it's also the law in Louisiana  to hang a copy of the 10 Commandments in every classroom in Public Schools. So, take that with a big old rock of salt.

I wonder which Commandment they're really trying to promote with this new Hee-Haw legislation? #1 "Thou Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me?" Boy, that's kind of a weird and paranoid law, especially for a religion that self-identifies as monotheistic, no? If there's only one god shouldn't that take the need for old numero uno off the table?

Or maybe #4, "yada yada keep the Sabbath holy"? That must be why nobody works or handles money on Saturday in New Orleans, right?

Nah, it's #10, I'm sure. "Thou Shalt Not Covet." You know, like don't covet all the Love those wily Egyptians have for Horus or Set or Osiris. And certainly don't feel threatened by Hoti or that lovable little Buddha, right? Just be at home in your own Mountain Godness and fly it high and tight. "Like we do heah in our Public Schools down in Metairie, boya."

There's good and strong reasons why True Detective season 1 was set in Louisiana, my friends.

But, hey, the complete evaporation of intelligence, critical thinking and the core principles of democracy and the foundations of this grand experiment in Enlightenment values that is the American project isn't our beat here at Illuminated Brew Works and not why you signed up for this erudite and handsome newsletter.

No, no, we come here to paint the walls in the remains of our hearts! Hearts so inflated with Joy and Pleasure and Humor and, dare I say it, LOVE, that our hearts just straight swelled like a poison toad and popped grape flavored, candy-colored goo all over the insides of our Barbie cars, smothering us in great beer, big old belly laughs and, by criminy, GREAT FUCKING MUSIC.

Like TONIGHT! We have the ELEVENTH installment of our modular synth night here at IBW Lodge #1!!! The downright wonderful folks at DayGlow are bringing you another FREE night of the best beeps and bloops here in this fine city of ours. I mean sure, IBW Lodge #1 is like an 8 hour drive from downtown Chicago, but isn't it worth it to be able to spend the evening drinking THE GOOD LORD'S FAVORITE BEER and listening to adult's try and wrangle the grand demons of modular synthesizers into coherent, angelic sounds? And, in case you didn't notice, VIDEO WASTE is back with more of their truly inspired visual installations. I mean seriously, folks, these nights are phenomenal and the artists DayGlow brings out for these deserve your minds and ears. Get out here and enjoy your life before it's all over. Which, by my estimations, won't be too damn long from now, by the way.

And then, spend your Sunday Morning Coming Down at the Lodge in the afternoon. On Sunday. (I got there, kind of). With the WILDWOOD FLOWERS!

I love these ladies!! I really do! Last time they played the Lodge was one of my favorite Sundays we've hosted here. My memory is for the birds these days, but I think I actually might have cried coming home from their last show because it was just such a lovely and perfect display of exactly the kind of thing that we built IBW Lodge #1 for... super talented, super funny, super wonderful people sharing their gifts with drunken letches. I love it when a plan comes together!

THE WILDWOOD FLOWERS play a mix of gospel, roots and traditionals from the American song book and they do it better than you or I do almost anything. What do you get when you mix a banjo, a guitar, a fiddle and three soul-cracking voices? A weepy-faced me and THE WILDWOOD FLOWERS. Don't be an asshole, just come to the show. It's FREE but you can still pay for the beer.

And then - OH MOMMA! - next Sunday, June 30th we have got this month's installment of our THEMED TEAM TRIVIA at 3pm. 

That's right, next Sunday June 30th, we're playing MEL BROOKS TRIVIA! Mike has cooked up a really good game for this one including clips from some of AMERICAN MASTER Mel Brooks finest films. If you have a half a brain cell in your head then you love Mel Brooks. And, with a half a brain cell, you've just found yourself in the elite class of above average intelligence for this tawdry and hot world we live in. So, come show off that brain cell of yours and have some fun while you do it. We start promptly at 3pm.

Oh, hey, did you see this?

You can see all of our events on our event calendar at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/events

You can see what's currently on tap at IBW LODGE #1 at https://www.ibw-chicago.com/whats-on-tap